Thursday, December 3, 2009

Life Scenarios Really Are Based on Two Things: Facts and Karma

I haven't blogged in forever. Cuz' blogging's for losers. So that;s why I'm here. :P truthfully, I forgot my password so I was unable to access my creation. Haha, never fear, the Brizz is back. I'd like to start off by sayin that YOU HAVE BETTER CHECKED OUT/LISTENED TO/BOUGHT ON ITUNES OR IN STORES THE DEAD BY SUNRISE "OUT OF ASHES" CD. If you have not, you're not allowed back to this blog ever again until you do. So, get on that. Now for a couple of announcements:
~HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRAD DELSON (December 1)
~HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY FLIP AND SAN (December 7 and 8)
~Thank you Pags for giving me the Paramore album Riot, you should all check it out. Everyone knows Misrey Business, so look into that, yo!
Yah' know what I learned today? One, that my music teacher makes references to Monte Python several times everyday and I swear to god, that we watches it everyday. Two, that reseraunts always make up their own crappy birthday songs to sing that go along with your free birthday dessert because Paul McCartney actually owns the rights to the song Happy Birthday (not the Beatles "The Birthday Song). Weird, right? No wonder the guys so famous, that song along must be raking in enough money to abolish poverty in Southern Africa! Cah-razy!

I'm one of those people, along with being a mindfreak, who just always gets the bad end of karma. It's real, don't you doubt that. Everyone loves reading about other people's ability to fail, so here you go.
Today at lunch, I decide it would be a fun game for me to sit at the end of the lunch table where everyone walks by, close my eyes, have my friends tell me when someone's coming, and then fling my limbs out into the aisle so as to hit someone. Well I hit this one chick twice, but she deserved it because you'd think she'd have learned the first time. GO AROUND. Then we took this little game outside and I was being guided through a parking lot and basketball court filled with a bunch of rude eight graders. I fell off the side of the sidewalk. Good fun.
I ALWAYS end up walking into people making out. I manage to look away and give a "sup" to someone right as there is a lip-locking couple in my path of travel. It's great. I've run into the same girl and her b.f. at least three times. One time, I ran into two couples in a row. NEW RECORD.
We all have days when we just aren't entirely there. During everyones favorite period of the day, something we cleverly named Core and More, we were learning a very complicated fourth grade skill called "Making Graphic Organizers." I now hold the record for the sadest attempt at describing something... ever. Mr. Vassar, being the good man he is, puts up with my "unique" way of learning.
He asks "Does anyone know what a graphic organizer is"
Me, thinking about what I'm doing after school or staring at some kid goes "Mmmmhmm!"
Mr. V shoots be a look, and I may have peed my pants either from the shock of being looked at or the fact that I'm now answering involuntarily.
"Can you define it?"
"Uh, no. No I can't, sorry."
"Alright, anyone else?"
....."OH WAIT YES! Yes, yeah, I can do it now! Yeah."
He calls on me.
"It's. It's uhh.... It's uhhhhhh...... It's a box..... With other boxes... around it??? And they have... ideas in them."
That's an answer deserving of a Nobel Peace Prize.
The other day, getting out of the car, I accidentally kicked a paper out of Katrina's car, and it blew underneath. I preceded to get the paper from under the car, while chewing on a piece of Ice Cube gum.
"I got it, I got it. Don't worry Katrina, I got it!"
After a solid 5 minutes of chasing the paper around in the wind, I catch it.
"GOT IT!"
For whatever reason, I made the noise of a cat with a hairball and swallowed my gum. A great way to start your morning is on a stomach full of winter-green goodness.

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